So, I've been sitting here for the last 30 minutes or so, trying to find the right words for this. Because, I don't want to make this sound like a bigger deal than it is. But, I think I'm done with my life. Not life in general. Just mine. I mean, I've got a good job, good friends, live in a pretty awesome town, and have the love of a good woman. But, lately, it's all I can do to even pull myself out of bed in the morning. And more and more now I find myself wishing that I could just sleep the rest of my life away, or just disappear to some remote location and completely seclude myself from everybody. I don't think I'm depressed, but who knows? Maybe I am. I just know that, as far as my life goes right now, I feel unfulfilled. And the worst part? I don't even know what it is I'm looking for [insert Jesus joke here]. I mean, I'm not missing anything. My life is by no means perfect, nor is it easy. But, when all is said and done, I've got a pretty sweet deal. So, why-sidenote: Fuck you, loud drunk guy outside. Your slurring is making me lose my train of thought. Oh good, you shut up. Anyways, back to what I was saying. Why am I dreading getting up in the morning, more and more? I've tried giving it some serious thought (when I can find a free moment, that is), and the best answer I can come up with is that I dread the monotony. I mean, it's the same shit, day in and day out. I want more. What, exactly? I'm not sure. I just know I want something.
Tomorrow morning I'm going to interview for a promotion at work. At first I thought I wanted it for the pay raise (that's still part of the incentive), but now I think the real reason I want it is it will give me a challenge. I know I'll be able to do it, but I also know it won't be easy. And I think that's something I need right now. Something to break up the drudgery that's eating away at my lust for life.
Also, it'll help me get closer to finally being with my love. I mentioned above I have a great woman in my corner. Only catch is that she's in the part of my corner that's a million miles away. My heart and mind tells me she's worth it, and that all the bullshit we're gonna have to work through to truly be together is gonna pay off for both of us in the end. But not when I dread waking up every morning. Which is another reason why I need something to revitalize me. Because I'm not just doing this for me: I'm doing it for us.
Man, this probably makes me look like some blabbering emo, bitch. I swear I'm not though. I just want something more, is all. Now, if only I knew what...
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Update of sorts
It's been awhile since I've blooged.... Okay, that was supposed to have said "blogged" but, fuck it, that typo's staying. Anyhoo, yeah, the last time I posted anything was before I moved into the new place. Which, by the way, is awesome. Roommates are awesome too. Except Emma. She can be a raging bitchaholic most of the time. Comes from drinking too much bitchahol, I'm afraid. I can't really complain though, as our conflicting schedules make it so I rarely see her. Come to think of it, I rarely see anyone I live with (except Brian, but that's just because we work together as well), which is awesome. I work, come home, read comics and play on the internet all night, sleep, rinse, repeat. And on some occasions I even go out. SOMETIMES EVEN WITH OTHER PEOPLE! *Gasp!* It's a pretty great life, if I do say so myself, but that's not really why I decided to write here tonight. No, lately, I've noticed something. A severe lack of integrity, and accountability, in people. And by people, I mean grown ass ignorant men who should be ashamed to behave this way. Of course, anybody reading this can probably guess that one of the people I'm talking about is mc chris. If somehow, you're reading this blog and you don't know who mc chris is, I'll make it brief: He's a man-child, who's more child than man. He wants to be renowned as a rapper, but everyone just knows him as MC Pee Pants, from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Which is probably not the best thing to help him gain any cred as a legitimate rapper, since there's always the risk of both his fans recognizing him out in public and being like "Hey, MC Pee Pants! Where's your diaper, you cow?!" But, that's the path he chose in life, so he has to deal. And that brings me to my actual point. mc chris wants to make a cartoon. No, he doesn't just *want* to. It's his dream. And not just any cartoon, mind you. Oh, no, no, no. It's the "mc chris cartoon" which, I can only assume, is gonna be based on him. Now, I mentioned before that this guy's famous for work on ATHF. Well, he also did voice work on Sealab 2021 and I guess did animation or some shit for other [as] shows. Or so the legend goes. I dunno, I can't be bothered to find the facts. Anyways, the point is, the guy has ties and connections with adult swim, who are pretty much the guys you want to go to to get your show on the air. I mean, these guys aired Tim & Eric for multiple seasons. Hell, they even aired a spin-off show from them. Clearly, they don't have standards....
...And yet, mc chris can't seem to get them to take a chance on his show. So, what does he do? Does he take his show and try to find another way to get it out to the public? Does he use the money he's made from touring, merch sales, fan generosity/donations, or Honda? Or does he solicit his fans for $150, 000* dollars to kickstart his "dream" because "he shouldn't have to risk his own money on it"?
Yep, that's right. The answer is C. Because, apparently, your dreams are only worth approaching if there's no risk to you. But it's fine if it's a risk to others though. Bill Clinton said it best: "If things don't go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true."
Pfft. What a fucking joke.
Okay, that's enough about him and what an outstanding personality he is. I have two more examples of adults who act like entitled fucking children. One's a customer where I work, the other is a co-worker.
Now this first guy, he makes it a point to be as annoying as possible. Seriously, he's even admitted this. Well, his actual words were "I like to talk a lot when I first meet someone, to see how they react, and see what kind of person they are?" to which all I could think to respond was "Pestering people with asinine drivel, and asking questions that not even a developmentally challenged three year old would think to ask, is your way of getting a feel for someone's personality?" But, seeing as how I was on the clock, and I both like and need my job, I simply said "Yeah, man, that's cool". Now, at my job, we deal in entertainment, both the buying and the selling of it. This guy, let's just call him "John" (because that's his name. Nobody's innocent), this guy John, he likes to sell back books. Which is fine, because that's what we do. What's not fine is the way he tries to scam us, and cheat our system to get back as much as he can. For instance? We have a very specific grading system for the books we buy back. Period. They don't meet criteria, you don't get top dollar. Simple as that. Everyone else accepts that these are our rules but not John, no sir. No, he'll argue with you until you give him the extra twenty cents, or whatever, just to get rid of him. He's also claimed to have Asperger's. But he only mentions this after someone's refused to cater to his whims. Now, I'm not saying I'm a hundred percent that he's lying. But I am a hundred percent that he's the type of person who would lie about something like that. Just the other day, he tried to sell back a bunch of text books We don't buy back text books. At least we're not supposed to. Although, some do get past us on occasion, though it's mostly when the retail side handles a book buyback. But I don't really blame them for that, as they haven't been trained on what exactly to look for when purchasing books back. Anyways, he tried selling back a bunch of text books and the cashier (I was just an observer in all this, since he doesn't want me helping him anymore, as I've made it clear I won't bend the rules for him), who knows our policy and procedures on book buybacks, told him "We can't take these back, because they're text books, and we don't buy them back" to which John responded "I've sold text books back here before". Then it was explained to him that those were our rules and that, even though sometimes mistakes do get made, we would not buy them back. So, what does he do after he's told this? Does he say "That's fine" and leave it at that, accepting the rules of our business? Or does he say "I'll just take them up to the front counter next time. They'll take them back"?
Yep, you guessed it! He would actually exploit people's naivete, rather than abide by the rules that have been set for everyone. The guy has no integrity whatsoever, and I'm not the only one who thinks so. I've spoke with the store manager about him, and he hates the guy as well. Unfortunately though, since he's not breaking any laws, there's not much we can do. Now, I know some of you are probably thinking "Why isn't everybody at your store trained on book judging criteria?" We tried doing that but, honestly, we're just too busy to train everybody. Hopefully we'll be able to some day but, as it stands right now, it's not gonna be any time soon.
Third, and final, example, is a co-worker of mine. This guy is a sixty-something year old man, working in a sea of twenty-somethings. Now, I'm not of the mindset that older people should be shelved somewhere to make room for the younger generation. However, this guy should be. We work in a relatively fast paced environment, and he's shown on numerous occasions that he can't handle it, physically nor mentally. On top of that, he's always miserable, he doesn't communicate with the rest of us, and he's just an unpleasant person to be around in general. Seeing this, a majority of us decided to just give him his space, until he eventually decided to quit or die of a stress/rage related brain hemorrhage, whichever came first. What did he decide to do instead? He decided to go to our boss and accuse every single one of us of being in cahoots against him, making up hair brained theories as only the elderly can. So, we explained to our boss how things actually are, and she asked if we could just try to make nice with him. We agreed. So, the other day, him and I are working together, and he asks a question about something I had been working on that day. I explain to him what was going on with it, only to look up and realize that he's looking past me at another employee behind me, who didn't have any answers for him, seeing as how he hadn't been working on the project.
So, you want people to be all nice and friendly to you, but it's okay for you to be a complete asshole to them? Fuck you, prick.
Point is, I'm tired of seeing adults act like immature children. It seems that, lately, more and more people think that the world should just bend over backwards for them. I'm sorry, but that's not how life fucking works. You slave and sweat, and you get back what you put in. And that's only if you're one of the lucky ones, as most people don't even get that.
So, to anyone out there who thinks they're entitled to anything, I have news for you. You're not. And I can only hope I'm there when each and every one of you eventually gets put in your place. It's gonna be glorious.
On that note, I leave you all now. For it is almost 2:30 in the morning, and I need to be up in four and a half hours to go to work. Like a mature, accountable, responsible adult.
Fuck yeah.
...And yet, mc chris can't seem to get them to take a chance on his show. So, what does he do? Does he take his show and try to find another way to get it out to the public? Does he use the money he's made from touring, merch sales, fan generosity/donations, or Honda? Or does he solicit his fans for $150, 000* dollars to kickstart his "dream" because "he shouldn't have to risk his own money on it"?
Yep, that's right. The answer is C. Because, apparently, your dreams are only worth approaching if there's no risk to you. But it's fine if it's a risk to others though. Bill Clinton said it best: "If things don't go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true."
Pfft. What a fucking joke.
Okay, that's enough about him and what an outstanding personality he is. I have two more examples of adults who act like entitled fucking children. One's a customer where I work, the other is a co-worker.
Now this first guy, he makes it a point to be as annoying as possible. Seriously, he's even admitted this. Well, his actual words were "I like to talk a lot when I first meet someone, to see how they react, and see what kind of person they are?" to which all I could think to respond was "Pestering people with asinine drivel, and asking questions that not even a developmentally challenged three year old would think to ask, is your way of getting a feel for someone's personality?" But, seeing as how I was on the clock, and I both like and need my job, I simply said "Yeah, man, that's cool". Now, at my job, we deal in entertainment, both the buying and the selling of it. This guy, let's just call him "John" (because that's his name. Nobody's innocent), this guy John, he likes to sell back books. Which is fine, because that's what we do. What's not fine is the way he tries to scam us, and cheat our system to get back as much as he can. For instance? We have a very specific grading system for the books we buy back. Period. They don't meet criteria, you don't get top dollar. Simple as that. Everyone else accepts that these are our rules but not John, no sir. No, he'll argue with you until you give him the extra twenty cents, or whatever, just to get rid of him. He's also claimed to have Asperger's. But he only mentions this after someone's refused to cater to his whims. Now, I'm not saying I'm a hundred percent that he's lying. But I am a hundred percent that he's the type of person who would lie about something like that. Just the other day, he tried to sell back a bunch of text books We don't buy back text books. At least we're not supposed to. Although, some do get past us on occasion, though it's mostly when the retail side handles a book buyback. But I don't really blame them for that, as they haven't been trained on what exactly to look for when purchasing books back. Anyways, he tried selling back a bunch of text books and the cashier (I was just an observer in all this, since he doesn't want me helping him anymore, as I've made it clear I won't bend the rules for him), who knows our policy and procedures on book buybacks, told him "We can't take these back, because they're text books, and we don't buy them back" to which John responded "I've sold text books back here before". Then it was explained to him that those were our rules and that, even though sometimes mistakes do get made, we would not buy them back. So, what does he do after he's told this? Does he say "That's fine" and leave it at that, accepting the rules of our business? Or does he say "I'll just take them up to the front counter next time. They'll take them back"?
Yep, you guessed it! He would actually exploit people's naivete, rather than abide by the rules that have been set for everyone. The guy has no integrity whatsoever, and I'm not the only one who thinks so. I've spoke with the store manager about him, and he hates the guy as well. Unfortunately though, since he's not breaking any laws, there's not much we can do. Now, I know some of you are probably thinking "Why isn't everybody at your store trained on book judging criteria?" We tried doing that but, honestly, we're just too busy to train everybody. Hopefully we'll be able to some day but, as it stands right now, it's not gonna be any time soon.
Third, and final, example, is a co-worker of mine. This guy is a sixty-something year old man, working in a sea of twenty-somethings. Now, I'm not of the mindset that older people should be shelved somewhere to make room for the younger generation. However, this guy should be. We work in a relatively fast paced environment, and he's shown on numerous occasions that he can't handle it, physically nor mentally. On top of that, he's always miserable, he doesn't communicate with the rest of us, and he's just an unpleasant person to be around in general. Seeing this, a majority of us decided to just give him his space, until he eventually decided to quit or die of a stress/rage related brain hemorrhage, whichever came first. What did he decide to do instead? He decided to go to our boss and accuse every single one of us of being in cahoots against him, making up hair brained theories as only the elderly can. So, we explained to our boss how things actually are, and she asked if we could just try to make nice with him. We agreed. So, the other day, him and I are working together, and he asks a question about something I had been working on that day. I explain to him what was going on with it, only to look up and realize that he's looking past me at another employee behind me, who didn't have any answers for him, seeing as how he hadn't been working on the project.
So, you want people to be all nice and friendly to you, but it's okay for you to be a complete asshole to them? Fuck you, prick.
Point is, I'm tired of seeing adults act like immature children. It seems that, lately, more and more people think that the world should just bend over backwards for them. I'm sorry, but that's not how life fucking works. You slave and sweat, and you get back what you put in. And that's only if you're one of the lucky ones, as most people don't even get that.
So, to anyone out there who thinks they're entitled to anything, I have news for you. You're not. And I can only hope I'm there when each and every one of you eventually gets put in your place. It's gonna be glorious.
On that note, I leave you all now. For it is almost 2:30 in the morning, and I need to be up in four and a half hours to go to work. Like a mature, accountable, responsible adult.
Fuck yeah.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Movin' on up! To the eastside!
Actually, I'm movin' on down. Downtown, that is. Like I mentioned earlier, I needed a place to move. Well, this past Monday, my friend at work was all like "Hey, man, whatcha doin' on Thursday?" and I was all like "Goin' to look at an apartment" and he was all like "You're lookin' for apartments?" and I was all like "Yeah" and he was all like "I'm lookin' for a roommate" and so I'm like "We might have something here" and he was all like "I'll pick you up tomorrow, and you can come check it out" and I'm all like "Sweet" So, Tuesday we go, and I check it out. 3 bedroom, third story apt, right outside the heart of downtown Portland, with an ocean view, free laundry facilities, and basic cable and internet, for only 325 a month? "Fucking sold" I say.
I move in at the end of this month/the beginning of the next. IR excited.
I move in at the end of this month/the beginning of the next. IR excited.
Monday, February 14, 2011
My cuffs are bone dry!
So, I found out 4 days ago that I need to find an apartment or a roommate pretty much immediately. This is due to the fact that the rest of the family has to move back to AZ to take care of my ailing grandmother, who's Alzheimer's has taken a turn for the worse over the last month. It sucks (mainly for the fam, who love it up here. Mostly for grandma though), but sometimes life likes to throw you curveballs. Anyways, I'm already getting responses back from prospective roommates, which excites me as usually when I'm in need of something right away it never happens like that. So, I'm gonna keep searching until I find a place, and remain optimistic that this happens quickly for me.
http://comingupmilhouse.com/
http://comingupmilhouse.com/
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Too broke to pay attention
I have been sucking with my money lately. By this time, I could have already had a down payment on a car, or a deposit on an apartment. Instead, I've bought a buttload of books and DVDs in the past few months. That's what I get for working in a place that caters to my interests, I guess. Really though, it's my own fault. And the worst part is, I haven't even got a chance to watch and/or read a majority of the things I've purchased recently. Okay, that's a lie. I've had plenty of chances. But whenever I have a day off though, all I want to do is sleep or play on the internet. I need someone to slap me from now on, every time I make a frivolous purchase that prevents me from moving up and on with my life. Otherwise, I'll never get back out on my own.
Or I could do that. Thanks, Mitch.
 |
| "Or you can build a house where you are, and severely improve your predicament." |
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Something I'm working on...
Maybe some day I'll actually write something that means something. 'Till then, here's this:
I keep it intellectual, and just a little sexual
Standing out, above the crowd, while still remaining next to y'all
It's true that I'd been slackin' off, but now I'm back to crackin' jaws
I'm swingin' like a wrecking ball directed by Sam Peckinpah!
I'm just like a detective, yo, I'll find what you desire!
Like Dylan, I spit fire! Self appointed and anointed, yo, I'm hip-hop's new messiah!
My words'll get inside ya, forever they're remaining true
You know I'd be a liar, if I were to say to you
That I've got time for amateur, close-minded fuckers slammin' doors
Not concerned with glitz and glamour, action, lights, or cameras
Godzilla versus Gamera, with fifty times the stamina
's how hard I fight my way upstream, ahead of all the salmon, uhh!
I keep it intellectual, and just a little sexual
Standing out, above the crowd, while still remaining next to y'all
It's true that I'd been slackin' off, but now I'm back to crackin' jaws
I'm swingin' like a wrecking ball directed by Sam Peckinpah!
I'm just like a detective, yo, I'll find what you desire!
Like Dylan, I spit fire! Self appointed and anointed, yo, I'm hip-hop's new messiah!
My words'll get inside ya, forever they're remaining true
You know I'd be a liar, if I were to say to you
That I've got time for amateur, close-minded fuckers slammin' doors
Not concerned with glitz and glamour, action, lights, or cameras
Godzilla versus Gamera, with fifty times the stamina
's how hard I fight my way upstream, ahead of all the salmon, uhh!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Business as usual
Damn. I sure do complain a lot, don't I? Looking through my only four posts, I suddenly remembered why I decided to laugh my way through life, not sweat the small stuff, and expect nothing: Because whenever I do otherwise, I'm consistently disappointed. Well, now that we've got that epiphany out of the way, it's time for another rousing edition of Bitch'n'Moan Theatre. On today's thrilling episode, I talk about my job. So, for those of you that don't know, I work at a place called Bullmoose. It's basically the awesomest store ever. We sell CDs, tapes, vinyl, DVDs, Blu-ray, VHS, books, comics, videogames, videogame systems/accessories, plus a whole assload of other assorted goodies and accessories. We also buy used items from customers (movies, music, books, etc;). Which brings me to point number one.
No, not that.
There's this disgusting woman that's been coming in the past week or so, and just unloading box after box, after box, of books on us. By the way, I am not using the term disgusting lightly here. This creature could cause dirt itself to gag. Also, all the books she turns in are in horrible condition, meaning we can only A) offer her ten cents for them, then turn around and sell them for fifty cents a pop, or B) recycle them, because they're too damaged to do anything with. Either way though, it's not like we make much of a profit. Anyhoo, the point of all that was to say this. She came back in again today, and my friend Mick got saddled with handling her buyback. Out of curiosity, he mentioned how eclectic her book collection was, and asked where she got them all from. She mentioned she got them all for free from the Swap Shop. So, after we finish her transaction and cash her out, we look up the Swap Shop online to see just what the hell it is. Turns out it's this combination recycling center/Salvation Army type deal, except everything there is free. That's when we figured out exactly what she's been up to: she's been going there, loading up her car with boxes of free books, then coming to us and turning a profit. When we realized this, we were pretty pissed. At her, sure, but also at ourselves and the rest of the store. See, it turns out this woman has been doing this for the PAST. FOUR. YEARS.
Seriously? Four years this went on, and nobody thought to question just where exactly all this stuff she was bringing in was coming from? Trust me, if you saw this lady, you'd wonder. I don't like to stereotype (although I am guilty of doing so quite often), but there is no way this woman lives in a place big enough or nice enough to store all the crap she supposedly owns. Unless she's a hoarder. She's certainly got the hygiene of one.
Anyways, we spoke to the store manager about the woman and what she's been up to. He was as peeved as we were. Unfortunately though, since what she's doing is only immoral, and not illegal, there's not a shit-ton we can do. Personally though? I'm gonna start being extremely harsh when it comes to appraising any items she tries to sell to us from now on. And hopefully, if she starts getting significantly less from us, she'll lose interest in her scam. At least that's my dastardly plan to save the world a.k.a our humble little store.
Ah, yes, our humble little store. You know, I can honestly say that this is the best job I ever had. I love what I do, I love what we do, the customers (for the most part) are pretty awesome, I have the best boss ever, and everyone I work with is great... except for the fucking new kid.
Now, I'm not one to speak ill of anybody... oh, who am I trying to kid? I'm totally one to speak ill of somebody. Anyways, this kid is pretty much the worst type of person. No, scratch that. He is, without a doubt, the worst kind of person. Seriously. I could go on and on about how not fit this kid is for this job, or just for life in general, but I won't. Suffice it to say though, nobody wants to work with him, because he's so bad. He's lazy, rude to any authority figure that's not a manager, hates helping customers, and complains about everything.
And he also just happens to be dating the boss lady's sister.
Yep. And, due to that juicy little tidbit above, boss lady coddles this kid like you wouldn't believe. Which is absolute bullshit. I mean, don't get me wrong. I meant it when I said earlier that she's the best boss ever, but that doesn't mean she's without her flaws. And not seeing someone's glaring faults, or the fact that they have no business working in a retail environment, just because you know them outside of the workplace on a somewhat personal level, is one of them. Luckily for all the rest of us employees though, peer review time is here. And, since all four of us who work with this kid all agree that he is horrible, his review will not be pretty. And hopefully she'll actually talk to him and he'll either shape up, or ship out.
Also, jumping back to what I said earlier about grading things harshly; We used to have standards when it came to buying books back. Now though, since the section for our book gens (the fifty cent books) is overflowing, we've been told to be lenient and start grading books higher, so that they can go on the shelves (even though the shelves themselves are quickly running out of room). Mmhmm. That's the way we're supposed to deal with the problem. Instead of advertising "Hey, we have cheap books for sale!" and actually trying to move product, like a sensible business would, we're just supposed to stop having standards, and pretty much just pay out for crap, in the hopes that this problem will, I dunno, eventually fix itself. This won't fix it though. We're just gonna end up running out of room in every section, then we're gonna be stuck with a bunch of overpriced books in a condition that nobody will be willing to pay anything close to real money for. *sigh* If only I ran the circus...
Well, that's it for this edition of Bitch'n'Moan Theatre. Tomorrow's gonna be a real exciting day. The Decemberists are gonna be playing a 45 minute set in our store, then signing copies of their new album.
Anyhoo, everybody's real excited about the inevitable clusterfuck that tomorrow will no doubt bring. Free show by the biggest hipster band on the planet (but you've never heard of them) at a local independent record shop, in a town swarming with hipster doofuses? We are gonna almost certainly be packed beyond capacity.
And to that I say, "Bring it on."
No, not that.
There's this disgusting woman that's been coming in the past week or so, and just unloading box after box, after box, of books on us. By the way, I am not using the term disgusting lightly here. This creature could cause dirt itself to gag. Also, all the books she turns in are in horrible condition, meaning we can only A) offer her ten cents for them, then turn around and sell them for fifty cents a pop, or B) recycle them, because they're too damaged to do anything with. Either way though, it's not like we make much of a profit. Anyhoo, the point of all that was to say this. She came back in again today, and my friend Mick got saddled with handling her buyback. Out of curiosity, he mentioned how eclectic her book collection was, and asked where she got them all from. She mentioned she got them all for free from the Swap Shop. So, after we finish her transaction and cash her out, we look up the Swap Shop online to see just what the hell it is. Turns out it's this combination recycling center/Salvation Army type deal, except everything there is free. That's when we figured out exactly what she's been up to: she's been going there, loading up her car with boxes of free books, then coming to us and turning a profit. When we realized this, we were pretty pissed. At her, sure, but also at ourselves and the rest of the store. See, it turns out this woman has been doing this for the PAST. FOUR. YEARS.
Seriously? Four years this went on, and nobody thought to question just where exactly all this stuff she was bringing in was coming from? Trust me, if you saw this lady, you'd wonder. I don't like to stereotype (although I am guilty of doing so quite often), but there is no way this woman lives in a place big enough or nice enough to store all the crap she supposedly owns. Unless she's a hoarder. She's certainly got the hygiene of one.
Anyways, we spoke to the store manager about the woman and what she's been up to. He was as peeved as we were. Unfortunately though, since what she's doing is only immoral, and not illegal, there's not a shit-ton we can do. Personally though? I'm gonna start being extremely harsh when it comes to appraising any items she tries to sell to us from now on. And hopefully, if she starts getting significantly less from us, she'll lose interest in her scam. At least that's my dastardly plan to save the world a.k.a our humble little store.
Ah, yes, our humble little store. You know, I can honestly say that this is the best job I ever had. I love what I do, I love what we do, the customers (for the most part) are pretty awesome, I have the best boss ever, and everyone I work with is great... except for the fucking new kid.
Now, I'm not one to speak ill of anybody... oh, who am I trying to kid? I'm totally one to speak ill of somebody. Anyways, this kid is pretty much the worst type of person. No, scratch that. He is, without a doubt, the worst kind of person. Seriously. I could go on and on about how not fit this kid is for this job, or just for life in general, but I won't. Suffice it to say though, nobody wants to work with him, because he's so bad. He's lazy, rude to any authority figure that's not a manager, hates helping customers, and complains about everything.
And he also just happens to be dating the boss lady's sister.
 |
| WHAT A TWEEST! |
Also, jumping back to what I said earlier about grading things harshly; We used to have standards when it came to buying books back. Now though, since the section for our book gens (the fifty cent books) is overflowing, we've been told to be lenient and start grading books higher, so that they can go on the shelves (even though the shelves themselves are quickly running out of room). Mmhmm. That's the way we're supposed to deal with the problem. Instead of advertising "Hey, we have cheap books for sale!" and actually trying to move product, like a sensible business would, we're just supposed to stop having standards, and pretty much just pay out for crap, in the hopes that this problem will, I dunno, eventually fix itself. This won't fix it though. We're just gonna end up running out of room in every section, then we're gonna be stuck with a bunch of overpriced books in a condition that nobody will be willing to pay anything close to real money for. *sigh* If only I ran the circus...
Well, that's it for this edition of Bitch'n'Moan Theatre. Tomorrow's gonna be a real exciting day. The Decemberists are gonna be playing a 45 minute set in our store, then signing copies of their new album.
 | ||
| These are not The Decemberists. But, if you've seen one hipster though, you've seen 'em all. |
Anyhoo, everybody's real excited about the inevitable clusterfuck that tomorrow will no doubt bring. Free show by the biggest hipster band on the planet (but you've never heard of them) at a local independent record shop, in a town swarming with hipster doofuses? We are gonna almost certainly be packed beyond capacity.
And to that I say, "Bring it on."
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
'Cause I'm old (wipe me down)
I know those aren't the actual lyrics, but it's what I thought he was saying when I first heard that song, and it's also a good segue into what I wanna talk about. I'm aging faster than I'd like to. Lately, my body is like a clearance sale. Everything must go, go, go! My hearing (as instanced above), my sight (I see things wrong, or that aren't even there, all the time. Like the time when I was at the mall, and saw a jeep driving through the parking lot with "Masculinity" written on the side. Turns out it actually said "Mall Security".), my hair (which has been gray for years now, and which is falling out more and more all the time). Hell, even my memory is going. Why, just earlier tonight, I went to Google something. I tabbed over, opened the Google homepage.... and completely blanked. And that's not the first time that something's completely just disappeared from my mind. A couple months ago, I made myself a sandwich, put the bread, meat, and mayo away, shut the fridge, walked out of the kitchen... then immediately went back into the kitchen, 'cause I couldn't remember if I had put the mayo away or not.
I used to be a lot sharper when I was younger. And the saddest thing about all of this is I'm not even that old, really. Nor have I really abused my body with narcotics. So I'm pretty sure all of this is hereditary. I know for a fact that vision, memory, and hair loss all run in my family. I just thought I'd have more time before it caught up to me though.
I used to be a lot sharper when I was younger. And the saddest thing about all of this is I'm not even that old, really. Nor have I really abused my body with narcotics. So I'm pretty sure all of this is hereditary. I know for a fact that vision, memory, and hair loss all run in my family. I just thought I'd have more time before it caught up to me though.
Joy is to survive
DISCLAIMER: This is the exact same post that was on my Tumblr, just moved here. Just a fair warning, in case you've already read it. Also, there’s gonna be a lot of words, so if you don’t feel like reading a bunch you can just watch the video at the end, which’ll basically sum everything up.
The other day, a close friend informed me that, if I ever needed to rant about anything, she’d gladly listen. This came as no surprise to me, nor was it the first time I had heard something like it. In fact, I know that I have many people that care about me, and any problems I may have….and that’s what I can’t seem to wrap my head around.
See, I’ve never been one to talk about my problems, or bare my soul, or any of that. I’ve always chosen to project an eternally carefree image, and deal with any real issues I may have on my own. Consider me an introverted extrovert, if you will. For whatever reason though, I’ve decided to open the floodgates and let everything I think about myself out into the open. Maybe this’ll make me look down upon myself less. Maybe it’ll justify everything I already feel. It’ll almost certainly paint me in a new light to a lot of people. Whether that ends up being a negative or a positive thing though, remains to be seen. Okay, I’m gonna shut up and start talking now:
I have what I like to call Xander Syndrome (yes, like the character from Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Here’s what I mean:
1: I try my best, and would do anything for the people I love and care about, even though I have no real skills or anything to offer, and;
2: I joke constantly about anything and everything, to avoid dealing with, you guessed it, anything and everything. I love trying to help my friends through any problems I may have. Yes, it is because I care about them, but there’s also a deeper, more selfish reasoning behind it. Every time I can have a hand in improving someone’s day/life/whatever it makes me feel… like I’m worth something. Also, helping other people deal is so much easier than dealing on my own, which is why I choose to do so.
3: I have way more female friends than male. It’s always been this way. When it comes to choosing close friends, I’ve always gone for people where I feel I can be myself completely. Both the inane, goofy side that the world sees, and the thoughtful, philosophical side that few ever get to see. And I’ve found very few male friends that I can share that side with. Not saying they don’t exist, as I do have a couple. Just that they’re a lot rarer than the female of the species. And speaking of females…
4: All my relationships start out fine, then they end up to be bloodsucking hellbeasts that want nothing more than to devour my soul, once they’ve decided they have no more use for me. At first I thought it was because I just went for whoever came my way (This is due to the fact that I’ve always figured that I’m unworthy of love, and should be grateful that anyone would waste time on me. I’m not completely over that mentality yet, but I’m much better than I was before). But then I started going after what I wanted. And it was the same thing all over again. I’ll find someone who I think is sweet, loving, honest, and genuinely beautiful both inside and outside. And I will love them with every fiber of my being, and do everything in my power to try and see that they know this, and are happy and taken care of. And, for a while, everything is great. But then, once it seems I’ve outlived my usefulness, the loving, caring person I thought I knew will start to show their true colors. Thing is though, I blame them for being fake, and changing (and in all honesty, they do. This is in no way me just being bitter for the sake of it), but the truth of it all is that there’s one common factor that plays into all of it: Me. Which makes me think that I’m the one that turns them into horrible, she-beasts who want nothing more than to see me hurt. And it also makes me think that maybe I deserve it. I mean, someone who deserved happiness wouldn’t have that kind of consecutive bad luck, would they?
5: Everyone I know has some sort of skill or talent, something to offer the world. Meanwhile, I have nothing. I’m gonna be 30 in less than 4 years. And I have absolutely nothing to show for all the time I’ve put into this life. No career, no degree, no house, no car (hell, I don’t even drive, and I never have), and no one to love, or to love me.
Yet, despite all of this, for some reason, people keep me around. And I can’t understand it. I fuck up so much, I drive people away, I try to help others when I have no business doing so. I mean, hell, I can’t even help myself, so what right do I have to give anybody else advice? None, that’s what. Honestly, when I think about it, I’m the worst kind of person there is. And not a day goes by when I don’t wake up in the morning and just wish I could close my eyes and fall back asleep again forever.
The other day, a close friend informed me that, if I ever needed to rant about anything, she’d gladly listen. This came as no surprise to me, nor was it the first time I had heard something like it. In fact, I know that I have many people that care about me, and any problems I may have….and that’s what I can’t seem to wrap my head around.
See, I’ve never been one to talk about my problems, or bare my soul, or any of that. I’ve always chosen to project an eternally carefree image, and deal with any real issues I may have on my own. Consider me an introverted extrovert, if you will. For whatever reason though, I’ve decided to open the floodgates and let everything I think about myself out into the open. Maybe this’ll make me look down upon myself less. Maybe it’ll justify everything I already feel. It’ll almost certainly paint me in a new light to a lot of people. Whether that ends up being a negative or a positive thing though, remains to be seen. Okay, I’m gonna shut up and start talking now:
I have what I like to call Xander Syndrome (yes, like the character from Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Here’s what I mean:
1: I try my best, and would do anything for the people I love and care about, even though I have no real skills or anything to offer, and;
2: I joke constantly about anything and everything, to avoid dealing with, you guessed it, anything and everything. I love trying to help my friends through any problems I may have. Yes, it is because I care about them, but there’s also a deeper, more selfish reasoning behind it. Every time I can have a hand in improving someone’s day/life/whatever it makes me feel… like I’m worth something. Also, helping other people deal is so much easier than dealing on my own, which is why I choose to do so.
3: I have way more female friends than male. It’s always been this way. When it comes to choosing close friends, I’ve always gone for people where I feel I can be myself completely. Both the inane, goofy side that the world sees, and the thoughtful, philosophical side that few ever get to see. And I’ve found very few male friends that I can share that side with. Not saying they don’t exist, as I do have a couple. Just that they’re a lot rarer than the female of the species. And speaking of females…
4: All my relationships start out fine, then they end up to be bloodsucking hellbeasts that want nothing more than to devour my soul, once they’ve decided they have no more use for me. At first I thought it was because I just went for whoever came my way (This is due to the fact that I’ve always figured that I’m unworthy of love, and should be grateful that anyone would waste time on me. I’m not completely over that mentality yet, but I’m much better than I was before). But then I started going after what I wanted. And it was the same thing all over again. I’ll find someone who I think is sweet, loving, honest, and genuinely beautiful both inside and outside. And I will love them with every fiber of my being, and do everything in my power to try and see that they know this, and are happy and taken care of. And, for a while, everything is great. But then, once it seems I’ve outlived my usefulness, the loving, caring person I thought I knew will start to show their true colors. Thing is though, I blame them for being fake, and changing (and in all honesty, they do. This is in no way me just being bitter for the sake of it), but the truth of it all is that there’s one common factor that plays into all of it: Me. Which makes me think that I’m the one that turns them into horrible, she-beasts who want nothing more than to see me hurt. And it also makes me think that maybe I deserve it. I mean, someone who deserved happiness wouldn’t have that kind of consecutive bad luck, would they?
5: Everyone I know has some sort of skill or talent, something to offer the world. Meanwhile, I have nothing. I’m gonna be 30 in less than 4 years. And I have absolutely nothing to show for all the time I’ve put into this life. No career, no degree, no house, no car (hell, I don’t even drive, and I never have), and no one to love, or to love me.
Yet, despite all of this, for some reason, people keep me around. And I can’t understand it. I fuck up so much, I drive people away, I try to help others when I have no business doing so. I mean, hell, I can’t even help myself, so what right do I have to give anybody else advice? None, that’s what. Honestly, when I think about it, I’m the worst kind of person there is. And not a day goes by when I don’t wake up in the morning and just wish I could close my eyes and fall back asleep again forever.
"Life, we have a new member joining us today..."
Some friends from work have invited me to join them in playing WarMachine on Thursdays and Sundays. For those of you who don't know (and I'm assuming that's most, if not all, of you), it's a tabletop battle game (and not Tony Stark's token black friend).
 |
| This. This is what I could be doing with my life. |
Now, I've never been a big fan of war (I mean, what is it good for?), or machines. And I'm not too keen on tables either, or tops for that matter. But, despite my aversions to all four of these things, I agreed to join them. Why? Chance to get out and be social, I suppose. I mean, not counting the two times I hung out with people down in Florida, I haven't actually interacted with people, outside of the internet, in almost 3 years now. And I feel that it's high time to hob-knob with people beyond a keyboard and a monitor...
...and it's fucking scary. See, I need a Battlebox (a glorified starter kit, sans the glory) in order to start playing the game, and I've been saying for the past two weeks that I'm gonna go get one. And I will. I think. Eventually. But, once I do, it means I'll have to start using it, and playing and hanging out with people on a regular basis. And that's become a foreign concept to me now. I've grown so accustomed to living life from my chair, that the idea of going somewhere to meet people, and just hang out, is strange and foreign to me now. And I don't like it. No, sir, not one bit.
And you wanna know what's really wack? I don't have this problem at all when I'm at work. So, why the anxiety about hanging out with these people outside of work? Is it the change of environment? Who knows. I sure as hell don't.
Oh well. One of these days I'll stop just saying that I'm gonna join them, and I really will join in the reindeer games.
...until my nose starts to glow, and they kick me to the curb.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)