Business as usual

Damn. I sure do complain a lot, don't I? Looking through my only four posts, I suddenly remembered why I decided to laugh my way through life, not sweat the small stuff, and expect nothing: Because whenever I do otherwise, I'm consistently disappointed. Well, now that we've got that epiphany out of the way, it's time for another rousing edition of Bitch'n'Moan Theatre. On today's thrilling episode, I talk about my job. So, for those of you that don't know, I work at a place called Bullmoose. It's basically the awesomest store ever. We sell CDs, tapes, vinyl, DVDs, Blu-ray, VHS, books, comics, videogames, videogame systems/accessories, plus a whole assload of other assorted goodies and accessories. We also buy used items from customers (movies, music, books, etc;). Which brings me to point number one.

                                                           No, not that.

There's this disgusting woman that's been coming in the past week or so, and just unloading box after box, after box, of books on us. By the way, I am not using the term disgusting lightly here. This creature could cause dirt itself to gag. Also, all the books she turns in are in horrible condition, meaning we can only A) offer her ten cents for them, then turn around and sell them for fifty cents a pop, or B) recycle them, because they're too damaged to do anything with. Either way though, it's not like we make much of a profit. Anyhoo, the point of all that was to say this. She came back in again today, and my friend Mick got saddled with handling her buyback. Out of curiosity, he mentioned how eclectic her book collection was, and asked where she got them all from. She mentioned she got them all for free from the Swap Shop. So, after we finish her transaction and cash her out, we look up the Swap Shop online to see just what the hell it is. Turns out it's this combination recycling center/Salvation Army type deal, except everything there is free. That's when we figured out exactly what she's been up to: she's been going there, loading up her car with boxes of free books, then coming to us and turning a profit. When we realized this, we were pretty pissed. At her, sure, but also at ourselves and the rest of the store. See, it turns out this woman has been doing this for the PAST. FOUR. YEARS.

Seriously? Four years this went on, and nobody thought to question just where exactly all this stuff she was bringing in was coming from? Trust me, if you saw this lady, you'd wonder. I don't like to stereotype (although I am guilty of doing so quite often), but there is no way this woman lives in a place big enough or nice enough to store all the crap she supposedly owns. Unless she's a hoarder. She's certainly got the hygiene of one.

Anyways, we spoke to the store manager about the woman and what she's been up to. He was as peeved as we were. Unfortunately though, since what she's doing is only immoral, and not illegal, there's not a shit-ton we can do. Personally though? I'm gonna start being extremely harsh when it comes to appraising any items she tries to sell to us from now on. And hopefully, if she starts getting significantly less from us, she'll lose interest in her scam. At least that's my dastardly plan to save the world a.k.a our humble little store.

Ah, yes, our humble little store. You know, I can honestly say that this is the best job I ever had. I love what I do, I love what we do, the customers (for the most part) are pretty awesome, I have the best boss ever, and everyone I work with is great... except for the fucking new kid.

Now, I'm not one to speak ill of anybody... oh, who am I trying to kid? I'm totally one to speak ill of somebody. Anyways, this kid is pretty much the worst type of person. No, scratch that. He is, without a doubt, the worst kind of person. Seriously. I could go on and on about how not fit this kid is for this job, or just for life in general, but I won't. Suffice it to say though, nobody wants to work with him, because he's so bad. He's lazy, rude to any authority figure that's not a manager, hates helping customers, and complains about everything.

And he also just happens to be dating the boss lady's sister.

WHAT A TWEEST!

 Yep. And, due to that juicy little tidbit above, boss lady coddles this kid like you wouldn't believe. Which is absolute bullshit. I mean, don't get me wrong. I meant it when I said earlier that she's the best boss ever, but that doesn't mean she's without her flaws. And not seeing someone's glaring faults, or the fact that they have no business working in a retail environment, just because you know them outside of the workplace on a somewhat personal level, is one of them. Luckily for all the rest of us employees though, peer review time is here. And, since all four of us who work with this kid all agree that he is horrible, his review will not be pretty. And hopefully she'll actually talk to him and he'll either shape up, or ship out.

Also, jumping back to what I said earlier about grading things harshly; We used to have standards when it came to buying books back. Now though, since the section for our book gens (the fifty cent books) is overflowing, we've been told to be lenient and start grading books higher, so that they can go on the shelves (even though the shelves themselves are quickly running out of room). Mmhmm. That's the way we're supposed to deal with the problem. Instead of advertising "Hey, we have cheap books for sale!" and actually trying to move product, like a sensible business would, we're just supposed to stop having standards, and pretty much just pay out for crap, in the hopes that this problem will, I dunno, eventually fix itself. This won't fix it though. We're just gonna end up running out of room in every section, then we're gonna be stuck with a bunch of overpriced books in a condition that nobody will be willing to pay anything close to real money for. *sigh* If only I ran the circus...

Well, that's it for this edition of Bitch'n'Moan Theatre. Tomorrow's gonna be a real exciting day. The Decemberists are gonna be playing a 45 minute set in our store, then signing copies of their new album.

These are not The Decemberists. But, if you've seen one hipster though, you've seen 'em all.

Anyhoo, everybody's real excited about the inevitable clusterfuck that tomorrow will no doubt bring. Free show by the biggest hipster band on the planet (but you've never heard of them) at a local independent record shop, in a town swarming with hipster doofuses? We are gonna almost certainly be packed beyond capacity.

And to that I say, "Bring it on."